Profile of the Yogini Princesse
It's inevitable that yogi bloggers will explain why they started practicing yoga to begin with.
Let me keep it simple.
Why yoga?
I'm sure you've heard of this story line already:
A girl suffered from much difficulties in life that rendered her world shattered. She was divorced, she was dealing with indebtedness, she was unemployed, her face was covered with acne and is obese. Then she takes yoga to change her life and the rest is history.
It's a common notion that people who take yoga have many issues in life.
Fortunately I didn't take yoga because of that.
I initially took bikram yoga because my girlfriends wanted to try it out. I was a tag-along. Didn't really care much about it, except that I'm generally interested to know if I'm still flexible like before. Another reason was my doctor suggesting I do just that to help me cope with things that happened to me in the past but that are hard to deal with.
And so I did. Took the 7-day challenge . that's where it all started for me. Started getting hooked on that, especially because I slowly but surely regained my flexibility and I found peace in doing yoga.
What motivated me to continue? 2 words : Peace. Curves.
Yes, I saw results quite easily. I was regaining my long lost curves. I was regaining my flexibility. And hell, I like the fact that I'm pretty flexible as a newbile yogini compared to others who've been doing it for a long time (granted, I wasn't necessarily doing the postures completely correct the entire time. But at least flexibility wasn't much of a problem for me. Oddly enough, balance is. Hehe! =) )
I especially loved the peace that I get when I'm in class. I had nothing else to think of. You literally don't think of anything but getting into the posture and yes, consciously breathing through your throat as opposed to panting like an obese runner who just did 2 laps. 90 minutes of total peace. Who'd say no to that?
Why Bikram Yoga?
As most of you know, bikram yoga is a kind of yoga practice with 26 postures done in a heated room that is easily 105 degrees F. The heat facilitates muscle expansion, thereby helping you stretch in ways that you never thought you could stretch. Arguably, bikram yoga is easier as opposed to , say , ashtanga yoga in terms of the postures. What makes bikram yoga excruciatingly difficult is really the heat : the heat that makes you feel like you have 3 hallowblocks resting on your chest/ shoulders/ back depending on the posture you're doing. Your blood pressure rises, you are literally soaking in your own sweat, and yes, more often than not, you'll be splattered with the sweat of the yogi beside you.
But no, that's not the reason why I chose to take bikram yoga.
I chose to stick with it because I am very sensitive to heat. I get dizzy very easily. I get irritated. It's an environment I will definitely rush out of. It's for that reason that the thought of entering a sauna room was never a consideration for me. And it's for that reason why I was enthusiastic about bikram yoga. I want to learn how to function in a hot environment.
Again, the heat is what makes the postures very hard to do. In the same manner, the heat is what makes you flexible beyond your imagination.
Exercise?
Well yes, definitely. I wanted to tone, not build my muscles. Personally I felt fat already. But that's me. Others say I'm at my ideal weight (as opposed to being 70 lbs with a beach body that apparently made me look like one of those skinny models). I don't really have much problem areas, just my abs and my arms. I have to be careful with my abs, really. I don't want to revive my ugly 4-packs. As far as that goes, yoga has been doing a good job at flattening my stomach. Not enough yet as per my standards, but hey, there's a huge improvement.
Apart from the fact that I regained my curves. =D
Here's the most important part. Unlike other sports like running (I still argue, it's not a sport as much as it's a trend ) or swimming, yoga doesn't just give you an endorphine high, it also makes you sweat like crazy, getting rid of all the toxins in your body. You'll feel it right after class, starting with your skin. Jesus, I glow after yoga class. I'm energized and I feel lighter. It addresses problems in internal organs as well, all internal organs by the way, unlike other sports that target just specific organs. They weren't kidding when they said that yoga can regulate your sleep, by the way. It does. =)
Beyond that , it has strengthened my physically weak heart. Trust me, I get tired very easily. My heart is generally weak, especially starting the tail end of 2008 when I felt the full extent of its weakness. But I'm not one to succumb to my body's weakness, seriously. Once I gained normal strength, I endeavored to strengthen my heart more. It's more preventive actually. And I have to say that yoga has really helped me on that end. The most practical of which is learning how to slow down my heartbeat. Can you believe that I always look forward to full locust pose because it relaxes me? Yes. Raise your chest and your locked legs in the air... that's relaxing for me.. insanely relaxing after all the first few postures in the floor series.
Don't get me wrong, I don't like do the full lotus pose in public or in the restroom to slow down my heartbeat. I do the standing separate leg stretch in the restroom, yes even if I'm in heels.. I grab my shoes' heels. Hehe!
Then there's also learning how to breathe through the pain. I'm amazed at how much control you get of yourself when you just breathe. It helps you physically and emotionally. that's why when you're agitated or panicky people say "just breathe"... I appreciated breathing more and that's great because it's the most basic of bodily functions that is most taken fore granted. Now I learned to make the most out of it and it helped me immensely especially when I have bouts of emo-ness. =D
Why do it everyday?
My body yearms for it. And frankly, I'm a perfectionist who oddly enough, I fell in love with a practice wherein there's no such thing as perfection. It's not a performance, it's a practice.
You not only practice the physical movements, you also practice your mental and emotional strength. Sounds bogus? Seriously, it's not. You practice your determination, your confidence. Giving something your 110% , focus, doing things right rather than doing things seemingly excellently. For instance, doing the standing bow pose requires a locked leg and aligned hips. Sure I can stretch my legs up almost 90 degrees, but my hips aren't aligned. So it's wrong. So I may not be able to stretch my legs up 90 degrees straight, but is my legs are locked, my hips are aligned, I'm doing it right, then that's better than looking like a half letter H.
At the same time, you get to practice mind over matter.
During your first few sessions, you'd feel like you paid to be thrown in a torture chamber. You'd think "oh my GOD! Are we done yet?!" You'd sit down several times because you're dizzy, you're exhausted. You look at the door and you want to run out of it. 90 minutes feels like 3 hours of being bent in ways that no human being should be encouraged to bend. You keep on drinking and wiping your sweat off your face. When you lie in savasanah you'd think "please please please open the door or the window!!!" You'll feel conscious about yourself looking like a total idiot in class especially when you have classmates who are hard core yogis. Thoughts run through your head like a friggin bullet train. Yeah, I went through all that, and so did a lot of yoga beginners.
When you go to class everyday (or regularly), you'll get the hang of the heat. You WILL memorize the routine and that's actually the best thing that you can hope for to keep practicing: you know when it's gonna end. You start the class and the next thing you know, it's over. It doesn't feel like 90 minutes, it feels like 30 actually. It's almost as if you can do everything on autopilot (though you're not supposed to). You won't be able to finish a bottle of gatorade anymore until after the class. You know when to drink and when not to or else it's gonna be harder for you to do the posture. As you go along, you'll already have a system, like you're dancing, everything is synchronized, from the breathing down to savasana. It's automatic for you give your all to get into a posture and as soon as you hear the wonderful word "change" you automatically let things go. Nevermind that you didn't get into the posture correctly as long as you did your best to do so. There will still be times when you'd want to rush out of the room, especially when it's extraordinarily hot (as in 115 degrees F hot). But then you'll tell yourself to stay and you will stay, even if you feel you're about to have a heart attack.
Yeah, that's what I'm going through now, and so are those who've been practicing for a long time. Your only concern is getting into the posture. That's it. After the set, you breathe and let things go.
It requires a great deal of determination to practice yoga. Whatever your motivation is for doing yoga, you cannot do it without determination. At the same time, the more you think about your motivation during yoga class, the more you'll fail. Your determination should be thrown into getting into the posture. The motivation? Seriously, shove it in a box and keep it for 90 minutes while you're in class.
It requires focus. Nevermind that your hair is all over the place, you're soaking in your own sweat, or that the sweat of the person beside you is splattering all over you. After a few weeks practicing yoga, I learned how to drown out everyone and everything but the instructor's voice. There's no one else in the room. I'm relying on my own energy (because really, a class with less enthusiastic students will really affect your practice). It sometimes feel as if your gaze is also stretching because you only focus on one point through out a posture (except the breathing exercise at the start.)
I requires patience. Patience towards yourself. You have high standards, especially when you're so insecure about looking like the stiffest person on the planet standing side by side those who already look like invertebrates. You have to be gentle on yourself, not pushing yourself to be a virtual pretzel right away and feeling bad that you can't do it. It takes time, and again, no one has ever really had a session wherein he/she has done everything perfectly. No, not even the best instructors. There will always be a posture that you can't do today, but somehow you were able to do it yesterday. Each and every class is a different experience.
It requires discipline. Dude, in our class, you have to be there 30 minutes before it starts or else you'll be locked out. You're not supposed to eat a full meal 3 hours before the class (bread will do). You're not supposed to drink before the camel pose (full backbend) even if you feel so parched already. And when you're dizzy, you're not supposed to close your eyes. It's literally contradicting everything we know about taking care of ourselves.
It requires trust as well. You have to trust the instructors. Do what they say or else you'll either feel worse physically or you'll strain (worse, break) your muscles and your bones. When they say relax your head as you bend back, relax your head. Otherwise you'll strain your neck.
All of those are practiced in yoga. You'll be surprised that it will reflect on your daily life. Of course that is if you take it seriously. Frankly, it helps that somehow all our instructors will call out your name in the middle of the class when you're doing something wrong (ex. "(enter name), lock your legs! The posture is useless if you don't lock your legs!" ) . It's quite humiliating but I find it motivates people to do better the next time because they don't want their names called out again. =D
For me, since I've been doing yoga regularly (at least 4-5 times a week), I get to apply these things in my normal life. At work, with relationships, with myself. Everytime I step out of yoga class I feel better about myself. I notice that my life is slowly changing, and I'm becoming a better person. I'm more relaxed, I honestly don't sweat the small stuff more (beyond Richard's influence in my life), I'm more patient and I'm actually more happy with what I have, thinking that hey, even if I failed today, I at least know I gave it my all. =)
Yeah, I'm sure you've heard that from other yogis. It's common actually. So really, all the things I've said aren't bullshit. There are yogis around the world who can vouch for that.
In the same manner that a lot of yogis go to class everyday as much as possible. It's common for yogis to do double takes (2 classes in one day, usually one after another) when they know they can't go to class the next day.
Have I gone hard core? Maybe. I can't imagine myself quitting this one. I'm a competitive perfectionist. I compete with myself. I haven't done all 26 postures perfectly or even close to perfect. And since I joined our advanced yoga class, well, there are more postures to try and perfect. It's the only motivation I have to go to class everyday. I totally tanked this particular posture, I'm coming back in to give it another shot till I friggin' get it right. By the way, I have experienced going to class and not giving it my all because I really had no energy to do so and it felt really awful.
Another thing I like about yoga? It's my proof that if I just do my best without trying to impress anyone, I do better. Do things for yourself and you'll do better as opposed to doing things just to please others, even those you love. And yes, without any intention or any thought of it, I became a yogini after 2.5 months already invited to join the exclusive advanced class. I never dreamed of joining that class. It never crossed my curiosity either. It just happened.
A yogini princesse?
I've officially been dubbed a yogini by our instructor. I now have the right to call myself that. Princess? Well there's a different story to that for which you'll have to read my personal blog to find out. =)
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So there you have it. I pretty much fit the profile of newbile yogis and intermediate to advanced yogis.
Did yoga change my life? Well so far, I can say NO. It helped me change my life for the better. But as in all things, it's all a matter or perspective. I chose to do new things , and by default, I always psychologize things that I do. I find meaning in it. I find learnings in it because I really don't like doing things for the sake of doing it. It's just me. I may as well be thinking much into this again, but it's how I function , at least I get to control it and I can now choose my battles pretty well.
I've so much I want to share with you, but I'll hold it off for now.
I'm just really happy. I'm happy that I have the passion for something that I don't profit from, I'm not into it to impress anyone or to be with anyone. It's all for me.For a long time I had no passion for anything. I'm not even this passionate about photography and I'm already knee deep into that.
I've come to realize so many things because of yoga. As I go along with this blog, you'll know more about it.
For now it will suffice that yoga for me is not just a physical exercise. I get so much from it. Each and every movement , each bodily function happening when I practice is worth so much in terms of my holistic well-being. As outstretched as this sounds, to me, yoga is practicing life. There's much of real life happening in class as you can imagine.
So with that I close my first real entry in this blog. Have a wonderful evening everyone!
Namaste.
